Un Ninaive Oru Sangeetham…….

This blog will be recollecting my journey, with my better-ever- half , which was abruptly stopped by the cruelest fate, deciding that she should be better off from me. Santhamma might have alighted down well before me, but her soul travel will continue with me till my end., guiding and motivating me throughout..


M.Hariharamahadevan B.Sc, M.B.A, Dip-TD Mail id- hari9553@yahoo.com Location: Chennai,India A chemist turned into HRD Consultant out of interest. Has got more than two decades of industrial experience. Has worked in various capacities in M/S.SPIC LTD and came out as manager. From 1996 onwards, doing placement, training and OD activities for leading corporates in IT and Manufacturing sectors both private and public, under the name MIND-QUEST MANAGEMENT CONSULTANTS. Has conducted more than 2000 sessions , so far. Short story and Drama writer. Short Stories have been published in Tamil magazines and dramas enacted. Has given talks thorough AIR and TV Channels on management topics

Monday, June 18, 2007


Santhamma, I am settling at Ashoknagar flat, enjoying the God-blessed loneliness. Sivakami chithi and chithappa have visited recently.

Vaithy is leaving for Dubai this month end. I will be the happiest person to see him in a good position, wherever he is. In fact it was your wish too. You remember that we asked him to visit Dubai and explore the possibilities and if does not materialize he can come back and join me. Poor boy does not have the confidence of shouldering the responsibility , when I decided to make him as a partner in MIND-QUEST. Should have been fumbled on my decision. Absolutely no regrets in his going to Dubai , but what made me upset was –he was not giving me a hint even on his plan, before my shifting to Ashoknagar , before making ready the partnership deed , before investment of huge amount for jobsite investment. All I did only for him. In fact I am running the Placement for his prospects only. God &your good soul has given enough for me , so that I can sit idle and pull along. But I want to keep myself engaged. That is the reason for my handling classes for MBA Programmes ( you use to raise your self esteem that I am the wife of professor Hari as against the old statement of the wife of a daily wage earner)
As a matter of fact I wanted to give the major share of placement business to him only. I have made him as the nominee for me in Mind-Quest. Poor boy does not understand the spirit of my actions and decisions. God and his AKKA’s soul should give the confidence & courage to face the tough, cut -throat competitive world. No regrets on anything. I might have owed to him monetarily in my previous janma and in turn he might have owed physical labour to me .Karma Account would have been settled by now, for that purpose only we take repeated births.

I attended an yoga & meditation programme by a dedicated Guru, Narayanan at West Mambalam , -really a God-sent one for my transformation. If the week long programme attended by me and Subha before her marriage, was to prepare me for the worst to happen to me ,thru your departure from the world, this programme made me more matured and more philosophical ,calm &composed . The oft saying by the Guru of that programme –don’t feel for the dear & near you lost-she is inside you –you are the part of the Universe and your departed wife is within you-so also your ancestors and future generations. Though it is too early to assimilate that truth , immediately after the programme, I am slowly moving into that state. It is your good soul’s inspiration that motivated me in continuing the programme ( I thought of stopping on the second day since I was afraid that the asanas may make my leg pain severe.. But the encouragement from Guru- you do it, it will strengthen your knees. I prayed to your good soul on that evening. To my surprise all went smoothly. I use to recall my experience at veda classes –the guru started scolding me , since I was committing more mistakes in akshara When I mentioned my desire to stop the practice, it is you who persuaded and motivated me in continuing. The motivation still continues to pour from you even after your demise. I am blessed.

Your helping hand for the needy and your compassion was always there in your blood. I recall your visit to SPIC Factory, wherein the security at the gate was manually lifting the gate , every time the people enter in. Can’t he get pain in his hands-why cant they provide automatic system? you made a request to the officer there.The same compassion from you made us donate Gas stove and donate money for one gas cylinder per month to Swarnapureeswarar temple at Ashoknagar , where they were cooking the prasadams thru wood stove. How difficult for them to prepare huge quantity with wood and spoil their eyes-you remarked; moreover the devotees also won’t have the good taste of the prasadams, due to smoke emanating from the wood stove, you perceived.

If somebody asks a thing saying that it is looking good-you immediately would donate that to the person. You wont keep anything with you –your joy of living is your joy of giving to others. That may be the reason that you landed me alone in this world to enjoy the love and affection of your daughters .’’You take the entire share. I have done my duty. You finish your rest and come back to me.’’ That may be the message you are giving to me –I don’t know.

Sreedhar came from Singapore .Though his stay was very short, it was a source of consolation for me . I followed your footsteps in giving everything to all. All the chocolates brought by him were given to the needy children . As you are aware, I wont taste any sweets including chocolates, after my sweet –heart’s demise. Joy of giving is really a joy of living- I learn now.

Little girl Subha has taken into her heart about my saying that she is responsible for her health –I can’t spoon feed hereafter. I did tell that just to hammer into her head about taking care of her health. I consoled her after seeing her blog in which she had posted a letter to you. In fact it is your strong message that all of us should take care of our health without being a burden to near& dear. That has gone into my sub-consciousness . That is the reason for my attending the yoga & meditation classes . I don’t long for longevity but only a hale & healthy life , whatever may be my life span.

UN NINAIVE ORU SANGEETHAM- I recalled your first birth day after our marriage , when you had one saree for you and one for our Geetha manni . Every year you buy more for your birth day and leave the major part for others This is the first year, when you are not there with me on your birth day. Rama & Subha did not fail to call me and recall that day . In fact I wanted to call all for a dinner on that day , but it could not materialize. I sent a cheque for an ashramam at Tiruvannamalai and arranged for annadanam for your memory. People call you annalakshmi- You live for that.It is very opt for that annadhanam on your birth day.

It is your soul and Lord Shiva who are with me for ever giving me the fortification.

I am enjoying the CD’s left by you .I enjoying the song Nanupa by Aruna Sairam , your favourite Raga, Mohana , as I prepare the blog for this month. The CD’s and books are the trusty & true companions for me at this
Juncture. When I enjoy the music, I feel that you are sitting by my side.
I am sure your spiritual presence will be with me till my breathing last.