Un Ninaive Oru Sangeetham…….

This blog will be recollecting my journey, with my better-ever- half , which was abruptly stopped by the cruelest fate, deciding that she should be better off from me. Santhamma might have alighted down well before me, but her soul travel will continue with me till my end., guiding and motivating me throughout..

Name:

M.Hariharamahadevan B.Sc, M.B.A, Dip-TD Mail id- hari9553@yahoo.com Location: Chennai,India A chemist turned into HRD Consultant out of interest. Has got more than two decades of industrial experience. Has worked in various capacities in M/S.SPIC LTD and came out as manager. From 1996 onwards, doing placement, training and OD activities for leading corporates in IT and Manufacturing sectors both private and public, under the name MIND-QUEST MANAGEMENT CONSULTANTS. Has conducted more than 2000 sessions , so far. Short story and Drama writer. Short Stories have been published in Tamil magazines and dramas enacted. Has given talks thorough AIR and TV Channels on management topics

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Endurance, the Ever lasting Cure –My Life Lesson

Blog 10- Title- Endurance, the Ever lasting Cure –My Life Lesson

Santhamma, Vaithy has left for Dubai and he is in search of job. With HIS & your noble soul’s blessings, he should settle soon, which are our fervent wish for ever for him. Kalpagam , the lady who worked with me in the consultancy when we came from SPIC( you know we have visited her house near Kapali temple , she will resemble like Jc, A.V.Ramanathan ‘s wife Saratha , you used to tell frequently) is looking after MIND-QUEST. I have made her a partner, so that she can have more say in business & profits. That is what I longed for Vaithy, unfortunately he is not for it. It is my desire that Mind-quest should spread its wings wide since it was started on your name. I am more particular on that. I am sure Kalpagam will fulfill our ambitions.

What can’t be cured should be endured. That is the unique lesson HE has been giving to me from my childhood. If I tend to analyse my life path it will be a bell shaped curve-starting from the scratch , going to the peak coming to bottom again.

Be it my being brought up by one malayala thatha( I don’t remember his face , but his love& affection to me has been registered in my inner consciousness-the hard disk with infinite bites memory) It was he who saved me from death , when I drank kerosene at my 3rd age, people use to tell. His care& concern brought me from the scratch.. I was with my thatha and patti till they left for Sengottai, with my uncle(vaithy’s parents) with aunt .I was with my parents together for 6 months. Mother died after six months of my joining with her. Helping my father to take care of my younger brothers( which is very much useful to lead my present lonely life taking care of me in my household affairs -thanks to HIM for the nice training given, well before, with the present state of things in HIS mind-HE is a perfect planner indeed.

Manicka thatha , my mentor and the person who was responsible for giving a college education, against my father’s wish, gave me some identity and confidence for me. If I am somewhere now, it is he who is responsible for that.. He was not there to see my coming in flying colours in BSc, with my being a gold medalist. He was very happy about my coming in school first the highest mark at that time. One of the peaks in my life came flattening with my unemployment for one year, which made me demotivated. With the blessings of Raman sir’s brother Narayanan , I got a job in Madura coats, subsequently in SPIC, there again my own father refused to give me guarantee with his house at Kalakad for my bond in SPIC. It was Kalyani Patti who came forward for that bond. I remember that great soul even now.Her gesture was also one of the reasons for my decisions to marry you .

In SPIC too I had a good career , to a certain period, career wise extra interests like Jaycees etc. you were active in ladies club, Jayceerettes. Etc. That too was not for ever. The recognition I was longing for, was not given. I decided to quit against the interests of many family members but with sole back up of my beloved wife.You were like queen in SPIC, No problem for you. But, you remember, you told ‘’ when things are not ok for you , it is same for me’’. We came to Chennai. The consultancy, where I was working, was closed. The bell curve came to deep bottom. You gave your fullest support . we started from the scratch-gave a descent education, very good life partners to our beloved daughters. We could be able to own a descent flat better than we owned in Ashoknagar. We came to the somewhat respectable position in society. I was thinking of making you more happier, since we have well carried out our responsibilities to our daughters. When I was reaching that peak of that bell shaped curve, it came to the scratch thru your death. What peak am I going to reach again in the rest of my life-what HE has in HIS mind for me ? I am not clear at present.. One thing is very clear we get what we deserve, not what we desire. We have to raise our deserving power instead of desires. Probably this poor man has to compensate with more good deeds in his future for whatever has been done in previous janmas which are not known to me. What cant be cured should be endured. ENDURANCE IS THE EVERLASTING CURE.. HE has given
that greatest lesson to me in my life., which I have taken to my heart bottom.

I am avoiding the marriage receptions of close relations& friends, for the simple reason, people started about my state of being now, for the sake of asking something. The will power and confidence level would start going to the scratch – resembling the ladder -and the snake -like thing in pambu kattam, we use to play in child life and also during Vaikunda Ekadasi day.

I was going to see Mandi Srinivasan, who was with his family in our Kanpur life.
He is suffering from Lung cancer, a torture. I was recollecting your days, where you were battling for life, without knowing what was going on, since in Coma state. You lived royally, death was also royal for you. The torture was not known to you. One way you were blessed.

You had lot of unfulfilled desires- a child for Kumar& Rama, longing for parental love, longing for rich life, which I could not give more as I planned till your death:- which When I planned to offer to pour, you were detached from me. I also had unfulfilled desires about you as a good singer. All these bunch of desires will come as a reality if you come as a child to Rama. Why are you delaying that? Why hesitation? Do it immediately., Santhamma.

Un Ninaive oru Sangeetham-Kala’s husband Narasimhan( LIC agent) had come last week, for collecting premium. He was telling very high about you. Very wonderful & kind lady-he was making remark about you mentioning about one incident where you offered butter milk when he came during a day time in summer. You would always give what is required , at the opportune moment. You are not giving the required for Rama, even now.

Subha was telling about her experience of getting motivated after wearing your bangles which she has taken it along with her recently. How she was upset in her job before and the state of things that changed on the day she wore that bangle – a new assignment given by her boss and the yearly bonus given for working merely for 2 months . Really your soul is a SOURCE OF INSPIRATION INDEED. I had a good experience on the day of your sothambam on Tuesday. I forgot to make the rice ready for the meals and for the crows to eat. I was awaiting the sasthrigal to come, who came late on that day. In that hurry bury I totally forgot the thing. A crow, probably , your good soul in that form was making huge noise as if reminding me on that. You are always with me, Santhamma.

I went alone( for the first time in life) for the movie-Sivaji thru Karthik Fine arts’ pass.. I was recollecting the first movie we saw together PATHRA KALI. Kannan oru kai kuzhandai –the memorable song you would be singing often. I am also remembering the first tour we went after our marriage, to Guruvayur and Palani where we had two different experiences-the pleasant dharshan at Guruvayoor and money snatching experience at Palani. I am now pondering over those memorable periods, at this juncture of torturing loneliness.

I am praying to HIM and requesting your good soul to bestow upon me the peace of mind during the rest of my life. HE need not take me to the peak of my bell shaped curve but HE should never drag me down to the bottom. That is my sincerest prayer to HIM and to your noble soul. Are you hearing this poor man’s prayers?

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