Un Ninaive Oru Sangeetham…….

This blog will be recollecting my journey, with my better-ever- half , which was abruptly stopped by the cruelest fate, deciding that she should be better off from me. Santhamma might have alighted down well before me, but her soul travel will continue with me till my end., guiding and motivating me throughout..


M.Hariharamahadevan B.Sc, M.B.A, Dip-TD Mail id- hari9553@yahoo.com Location: Chennai,India A chemist turned into HRD Consultant out of interest. Has got more than two decades of industrial experience. Has worked in various capacities in M/S.SPIC LTD and came out as manager. From 1996 onwards, doing placement, training and OD activities for leading corporates in IT and Manufacturing sectors both private and public, under the name MIND-QUEST MANAGEMENT CONSULTANTS. Has conducted more than 2000 sessions , so far. Short story and Drama writer. Short Stories have been published in Tamil magazines and dramas enacted. Has given talks thorough AIR and TV Channels on management topics

Wednesday, January 17, 2007


Santhamma, I will update you on the recent happenings :-
· I am in Dubai from 2nd Jan, enjoying the warm hospitality, love &affection of our daughter Rama& son-in-law Kumar,amidst the coldest weather here. Had been to Abudhabi, visiting Sundar &family. Been with Mama& mami. Rama was having the nostalgia about our last visit to Dubai during March 2004. She was mentioning about one incident wherein you were wondering about the smooth movement of lift in Rama’s residence The switch was not pressed properly and the lift was stationary–but your innocent words –porathe theriyalaiye( it was as if not moving) made all of us laugh . That narration by our daughter Rama to ammamma( your mother) made the latter’s eyes dense.
· Thaila’s mother-in law passed away suddenly .It is highly unfortunate that she passed away just before the Sadhabishekam (80th birthday ) function. Vaithy was telling about the same state of things happened in your case , wherein she was also carried, to Vijaya hospital, wrapped in bedspread. But, she had a very peaceful death, without any trouble for her & for others. Good soul, like you, indeed.

Sivakami Chithi used to call you as Pannaiyar ( rich person) , for which you highly deserve. You were rich in mind &action in giving everything to others. I was searching for the suitcase and bag, for travel to Dubai. I don’t know to whom you have given those. You had the mind to give only to others not the one to ask for. You will buy minimum of four or five sarees for every Deepavali, but finally one or maximum two will alone be for your use, the balance would go as gifts. That may be the reason , I suppose, that you left from this world, enabling me to get also your share of the love and affection from our two daughters. I am overwhelmed by the love &affection from Rama. You should be born as a daughter to her soon.

You are a pannaiyar after your death even. Chetthum koduthal Santha.( Santha gave after her death too) I got a sizable money as a death claim for you from LIC with your Jeevan Shree Policy.. You are really a pannaiyar, no problem, be at home or at the consultancy , from the day it was started on our 22nd marriage anniversary on 21st Jan 1999. I use to tell our Vaithy , who manages the placement business in our consultancy, that we should keep up the tradition of the consultancy. That should be our source of emulation for the days to come.

Our 30th marriage anniversary comes soon- the first year without your presence. How many years Jan 21st is going to witness with my being alone. HE and you alone are aware of.

You always say after each donation-we give one HE will give another. I had a thought to donate a sizable amount to the orphanage at Pallavaram, where we donated your old sarees . When I opened that topic, they told their intention of getting one refrigerator. Somehow I said ok. A cooler thing in memory of a ever-cool minded lady. That will tell your good memories for ever. We got their littering joy as a return for the fridge, we donated.

You were pannaiyar in all your life, you were iving a royal life,be at SPIC NAGAR, where we started our married life ,or at Chennai. Your last days at Vijaya hospital were marked like a function, huge crowds of relatives and friends. Everybody should have been much delightful if you had come back to life. We were only poor not to have that pannaiyar amidst us again. Your last rites were also done by us as if done for a old woman. You enjoyed everything at this middle age , which many old women would not have been. You were really a pannaiyar, in the truest sense of the word. I am happy that I was instrumental for
that state.

I am an admirer of the famous book, Who moved my cheese? The cheese in that book is a metaphor for the people/ things we desire , love or long for . HE has snatched my cheese –you- from this world. But the greatest lesson as told in that book is that- what next?- that should be the thought that should haunt one’s mind. What is next for me? The new year resolution made by me is that –past is a misery-18th Sep is the greatest tragedy in my life, which should not come to even to my bitter enemy if any. Future is a mystery, I don’t know the state of things , in store , for me. HE alone knows about that. But the present day –that present or gift should be lived peacefully, if not happily. That should be spent for my daughters & for the society. I am reminded of the old master-piece of Director Sreedhar-the famous film,. NENJIL OOR ALAYAM. A memorable song in that film- ninaipathellam nadanthu vittal, theivam veru illai, nadanthathaiye ninaithirunthal manathil amaithi enrum illai.( Man proposes GOD disposes- he only makes all to happen. If we lament for all that happened, there wont be any peace). This is very much applicable to me at this moment of life. HE has HIS own ways of performing things. If I brood over that, I will only spoil my health and peace and that of my kith and kins. As a HR consultant, I get an anology-an employee was snatched off his job by a HR Manager –to compensate that loss of job, he is given some benefits by the HR . At least those benefits act as a healing touch for the dismissed employee. Without that benefits, he would have been nowhere. He is somewhere now. I am like that employee. HE is the HR manager. The healing touch , I get , after I got infected with the wounds of my separation from you, as desired by HIM, thru our daughters, son-in-laws, and our relatives and friends, is something that makes me, to withstand the pain of separation. I am really blessed. KURAI ONRUM ILLAI. Santhamma I should continue your ways of dhana, dharma and my service as a trainer thru the rest of my life, which alone will be a glowing tribute to your good soul.

Un Ninaive Oru Sangeetham- I see you in each and every moment of my life-in the characteristic starting sound of our newly bought SAMSUNG TV, a few months before your death - the sound you like very much. I see you in the TV Ads by GOLD WINNER for their oil G for H , which was your favorite ad. I see you in your favourite song from Anniyan-andamkakkaa. I remember you every day , during my morning exercise, when you used to caution me against my hand &body hitting the near- by objects- PATHU PATHU . Who is going to caution me now? It is definitely your soul. I console myself with the feeling that your soul will be with me for ever, guiding me in all aspects, till my last breath.