Un Ninaive Oru Sangeetham…….

This blog will be recollecting my journey, with my better-ever- half , which was abruptly stopped by the cruelest fate, deciding that she should be better off from me. Santhamma might have alighted down well before me, but her soul travel will continue with me till my end., guiding and motivating me throughout..


M.Hariharamahadevan B.Sc, M.B.A, Dip-TD Mail id- hari9553@yahoo.com Location: Chennai,India A chemist turned into HRD Consultant out of interest. Has got more than two decades of industrial experience. Has worked in various capacities in M/S.SPIC LTD and came out as manager. From 1996 onwards, doing placement, training and OD activities for leading corporates in IT and Manufacturing sectors both private and public, under the name MIND-QUEST MANAGEMENT CONSULTANTS. Has conducted more than 2000 sessions , so far. Short story and Drama writer. Short Stories have been published in Tamil magazines and dramas enacted. Has given talks thorough AIR and TV Channels on management topics

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Looking back III

Santhamma, our second daughter had gone to Singapore and she got a good offer from Delphi. She is happy there. With HIS grace and with your good soul’s blessings, all go well. I have moved to the new rented flat at Ashoknagar, the place you were longing to move again in your life time, but the irony of fate was that you were living your last three conscious days at Ashoknagar itself. I am living lonely but with your soul by my side always. I have moved to your dream place. The flat is very good , might have been liked by you had you been alive. Now it is up to your soul’s side to be born to Rama and be crawling in this house. Whatever we feel we have left unattended to you when you were alive in this world, we should fulfill that to you as a baby . I am craving for those days, Santhamma. Are these words are heard by you ? Will you fulfill our desires?

Ramalakshmi, your sister-in-law has come with her husband Rangan, and they are going to South in an A/C car. They will come after 10 days. I am very happy on that which was shared by all our relatives. It is because of you and Ramalakshmi used to remember about one of your good deeds in the last part of your life. I could not have taken that bold decision without your back up. I recall those testing days before her marriage, where we were passing a very tough time .As you stood with me in all my tough periods, you did in that times too.

I leave early at 0830 AM and return very late. I try to avoid staying alone, where your memories haunt me . The change of place from Vadapalani to Ashoknagar makes me more peaceful and comfortable, being with old friends and our own relatives. As told on Vedas, one can live individually but can survive only collectively. We require others No man can live comfortably in an island.

I am utilizing these loneliness to pursue my interests more in literary pursuits. I have become a member of Karthik Fine arts , where I had attended the drama festival .I could
meet Mr , Varadarajan( TV fame , who had come to SPIC NAGAR and who traveled once with us during our journey to Chennai) Fate was cruel to him as it was to me. He had lost his wife, suddenly , during his train journey to his daughter’s place in Pune happened in the same Sep ’06 , We are (s) ailing on the same boat .Loving and caring wife, who stood by him always two daughters, First daughter settled in Pune . Second is getting married and going to Mumbai soon. It is said that happiness has only companions, sorrow is an orphan. But in my case I have a companion-a similar companion too in my sadness.. We promised to meet frequently and I have intention to pursue my interests in dramatic field.

I recall my days at SPIC NAGAR, at this juncture,when , one day I came very late after finishing the drama rehearsal . You with the small kids Rama & Subha were fast asleep in D-64 and did not open the door after heavy & continuous knocking at the door. The neighbour , a police inspector talked rubbish to me –any quarrel between you couple? Is she purposely making the delay? I made a determination not to come late afterwards. You gave freedom for my activities, so was with me for your singing . Rajkumar, who was asking you to sing for his troupe , was very much pleased with your voice and he was longing for my permission to allow you to sing in public places. Even though , I gave green signal , you were reluctant for that. I did not press for that. That was the understanding between us. You remember , one obscene post card , purposely written to make a rift between us ( later it was known to have been written by an Union activist , since I was tough with him officially ). I simply ignored it , only telling to my official boss about the price for my sincerity to the company , I was working for. Such was the clear understanding between us. We may debate but finally we come to a consensus. We always stood with each other. But the fate was so cruel that you went apart from me at the time, you have to be with me. Sumai thangi sainthu ponathu.
Some of our relatives, immediately after our marriage . have even commented, what is this life partner for you? It is not the educational qualification or intelligence that make a pair, but the mind matching that makes. I replied. As I use to quote the words of Kirubanandavariyar, white milk and black dikakshan make a good coffee, cold water and fire make a powerful steam. A stationery track and moving train alone will make a good journey, if both start moving , what will be the result? We were cited as a good pair. When some of the present day youngsters take hasty decisions and jump into nasty conclusions, if we stand as an example as the ideal couple, when you live in my heart , even after your departure from this world., I will get mental solace thru these pages of the blog. King Shajahan had created a Taj Mahal for his beloved wife Mumtaz. But this Hari could at least create a wordy monument for his beloved wife, which can stand as a role model for the younger generation. I am much delighted on that and I hope the same with your good soul too.

We were living happily , overcoming all the trials and tribulations. When., butter start accumulating , the storing pot gets broken, The proverbial sentence becomes true in our case. You should be born to Rama soon and enjoy the unfulfilled desires, in your last janma.

UN NINAIVE ORU SANGEETHAM- I use to recall your melodious voice , which I heard thru AIR Tirunelveli- for the first time –the song kantham pol izhukkuthadi. When I was vacating the Vadapalani flat, I had a small piece of paper in your personal purse- the sentences in that paper, you guess- Kurai onrum illlai marai moorthy kanna, kurai onrum illai kanna, kurai onrum lilai Govinda. When I opened one more cupboard, a similar sheet of paper was found to my surprise. You were always positive and your soul is continuously sending that positive signal to me, which I hope to get till my last breath.