Un Ninaive Oru Sangeetham…….

This blog will be recollecting my journey, with my better-ever- half , which was abruptly stopped by the cruelest fate, deciding that she should be better off from me. Santhamma might have alighted down well before me, but her soul travel will continue with me till my end., guiding and motivating me throughout..


M.Hariharamahadevan B.Sc, M.B.A, Dip-TD Mail id- hari9553@yahoo.com Location: Chennai,India A chemist turned into HRD Consultant out of interest. Has got more than two decades of industrial experience. Has worked in various capacities in M/S.SPIC LTD and came out as manager. From 1996 onwards, doing placement, training and OD activities for leading corporates in IT and Manufacturing sectors both private and public, under the name MIND-QUEST MANAGEMENT CONSULTANTS. Has conducted more than 2000 sessions , so far. Short story and Drama writer. Short Stories have been published in Tamil magazines and dramas enacted. Has given talks thorough AIR and TV Channels on management topics

Monday, December 18, 2006

Eethal Isaibhada Vaalthal

The words, captioning the above title , suggested by Mahadeva Chithappa, are something that inspire me a lot , a source of emulation too, Santhamma..You have given a clear message that nothing is certain in this world, which is an event of happiness and sorrows. Whatever may be the duration of the period, we live, in this world, that should be used as an opportunity to do unstinted service and help for the deserving .As myself and Subha our daughter, use to refer of you frequently, the joy of serving is a joy of living in this world. You were living as an example for that, however shorter your life may be. I take that message in my heart and soul. I don’t know the time of my soul leaving this body(should not be more than ten years as I fervently invoke HIM) . But till my last breath , I should do something or other for the society, the step I have started already . With the financial help for the needy and with the Viddhai( skill ) given by HIM, I am on the job. Contacting a needy school, run for the students of only illiterate parents-a great service for the society, of which I want to be a part.

One touching event recently. You remember the old age home at Old Pallavaram , where we visited last year. I was planning to donate your old sarees, the balance remaining after gifting to our relatives. When I opened that topic to the lady , in West Mambalam, doing free service there, she showed me a pamphlet asking for sarees for donation to needy during their Padayathra , they are planning, in the near future. I was overwhelmed at that moment. and intend to give in cash too for purchase of new sarees, Should I not follow your footsteps? A friend in need, is a friend indeed. Your belongings paved way, after your death too.

Your brown colored jolna bag , your inseparable, is with me, whenever I go out. I have kept a jacket piece, bought by you, before your death, in that bag as a symbol of yours. Sekar, my co brother was telling it was very lucky for him when he took that bag for his office, for sometimes. One project , not signed , for a quite a long time , got signed, during the period, he carried along with him. Such a good soul , you are, he remarked.

The key for our vadapalani flat, tied to your , mangal suthra, is now with my Holy thread, a symbol of your ever-remembrance.

I should follow your path of service, that is the clear message I got after your death. I have only two options-one is like an average human being, lamenting for your death , torturing this body and mind-being a source of concern and pity for our daughters, son-in-laws and our relatives. I can’t be doing any justice for your soul , to me and to our daughters’& relatives’ family with that option. Of course the thought of yours would be coming every now and then , without that there wont be any significance and meaning for our thirty years of married life.. But I should come back to normalcy soon by HIS grace and your noble soul .The other option is carrying out my left out duties as a father and doubled with your role too, besides doing something for the students, that I can,. with my skill of training. I prefer to choose and will follow the second option.. You would always say that we should be different. I should fall in line with my beloved wife’s path-should I not?

December is a month of music festival, You would be longing to visit the Sabhas. You were telling that we should buy a season ticket at Vani Mahal this year..But HE made you buy a permanent ticket for Heaven. It is you who taught me to taste the music –poouodu serthantha narum manam petrathu. I may witness the programmes this year for a change and as your remembrance, but who will tell the ragas for each and every song sung there? Will your soul guide from Heaven?

The fact that you are recommending HIM fulfilling the left out aspirations in your mind , before you left this world, is proved one by one. Sreedhar, our second son-in-law is going for a better assignment to Singapore . Your being a noble soul has been proved right on your 13th day function –the subham function when we heard about the good news of Subashree( our niece) attaining puberty. You should recommend to HIM for many more good news not only for our family but to all our close circle and to the society .Amidst all your busy recommendations, pl keep in mind about this poor soul- constantly persuade HIM for the peace and solace to be given to this unlucky man. You alone can do that.

Rama , our elder daughter had left for Dubai. I was overwhelmed by the love& affection, care& concern shown by her during her stay here for almost 3 months –saving me from loneliness, without minding about her being away from her caring husband. . God gave that opportunity to be with her , enjoying her nice food coupled with her unstinted love. Subha phones up daily to enquire and sometimes cautions me for the intake of balanced diet for my good health. I have recently moved to Vaithy’s place at Ashoknagar , enjoying the hospitality , care and affection from him. He is like my son, not allowing me to do any job. What am I going to do for him? Thaila, Sekar and Sivakami chithi , Chithappa are all pouring their affection .I am really blessed amidst the adversity. Kurai onrum illai , Santhamma. Your good deeds are paying the ripe fruits for this pavathma.( ill-fated soul)

Thayodu arusuvai pom(meaning –tasty foods wont be there after the death of the mother). You were like a mother to me in terms of the nice variety and tastier foods, for which you were known for. I had not tasted my mother’s love and affection , since I lost her at my early life. You were the one who poured that love and affection ..The pity is that I along with my brothers were longing for nice food after our mother’s death., when our father was doing cooking before his second marriage. Alas, HE has made the history to repeat itself in my life. I had not appreciated your nice preparation, openly to you , but only boasting to others . More than the nice delicious food , the interest, involvement and the promptness you exhibit are worth of the salt. This was told by our close friend Pradeep and Sheela , when they visited our home recently. When I am going to relish that food served with love by you? .I learnt the love, affection and care for relatives after our marriage-probably you would have given all as a mother. That may be the reason probably, for your imagining myself as your son for doing the Karma( last rites) as narrated by the sasthirigal on your 13th day function.

The astrologer has asked me to wear a blue stone for peace and EKAMUGHA(single face) Rudhraksham for unified thoughts. The latter will be to have only your remembrance and to have LORD SHIVA’s blessings. I can only assure you that nothing can tempt this man –the ladies I see and talk to will be treated as my mother, sisters and daughters. Even without that EKAMUGHA, my conviction will be there for ever. The EKAMUGHA will reinforce that feelings and be a spiritual guiding force, ably backed by your noble soul.. I can spend the rest of my life with the kind and nice remembrances of yours and with the prayers to LORD SHIVA ( I am reciting Rudram and Samaham daily, followed by offering Sadham ( cooked rice ) to the crows , thinking that you will come and taste that in the form of a crow. That happens daily. I wont miss to do that act even when I go outside Chennai for training programmes (probably I may offer a bit of the break fast offered ) Anyhow ,I make it as a scrupulous practice .

Un Ninaive Oru Sangeetham-I will share more in the ensuing blog. I am happy that this blog has created certain positive impact upon certain couples, as informed over phone. At least there is some meaning and purpose for our being as a role model for others. HE has destined that to happen only after your departure from this world and from this unlucky husband. But I am lucky that I happen to be your husband. People in our close circle call me as Santha’s husband, which I am proud to cherish in my mind..